Bianca Madaffari Poetry

look at me standing. 

alone

in this crowded room. 

a crowded mind,

a clouded mind. 

watch me play host 

to the voices inside. 

they tell me to hurt. 

they tell me to steal.

they tell me to cut

and watch it heal.

these chemicals inside

infect my wounds,

affect my brain

something the doctors 

are trying to explain

to me

but i cant see

why these voices want me.

they are dragging me down

into the depths of hell

and these walls are talking,

crying,

screaming.

they tell me im wrong

and say it’s alright. 

doctor please, give me something

to help me fight. 

because i cant do this

alone-

but im never 

alone. 

theyre holding me

squeezing me

suffocating the life out of me. 

and i cant-

please- i just cant

go on like this.

theyre strangling my thoughts

and im struggling to breathe.

please give me something,

anything, i just need

to feel like im alive,

because these voice take away

my will to survive.